So you’ve started a relationship with someone new. The first thing that comes to your mind when you think about the next step is ‘how do I get more friends?’ This is not only an important factor but also one of the most difficult ones. It is easy to say that you need friends and it may be true, but it can be even harder to get them in a short period of time.
Once you start doing that, everything becomes easier because your self-confidence increases dramatically. So in order to make your relationship better, here are three things that you should remember:
1. You are not the center of the world
This is probably the biggest mistake that people make while trying to improve their relationship. They believe that they have to be perfect and everyone has to like them just for being themselves. And then they feel frustrated when their partner doesn’t respond positively to them. Well, this is simply not true!
You don’t have to change who you are in order to please your partner. Don’t expect that he/she will fall in love with you just because you changed for him/her! That’s impossible. People like to see certain patterns in other people and if you suddenly show a completely different side of yourself they might start thinking that you are pretending to be someone else.
So what you should do instead? Start acting as you always did before. Be yourself. That’s how you will attract someone who likes you for who you are. After all, why would you want to change something so basic as your personality?
According to Em.com, if you really want to improve your relationship, you should start appreciating yourself more. There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself. In fact, it’s healthy and necessary. And it will help you to accept yourself no matter what other people say about you. Also, once you stop worrying about people’s opinions and stop comparing yourself to others, you will become less sensitive and you will be able to communicate better with your partner.
2. You need to trust each other
It’s not enough to like each other. If you truly want to make your relationship work, you both need to be honest with each other, otherwise you won’t enjoy the benefits of it. And since it’s impossible to be 100% truthful all the time, you have to learn to tell your partner things that you think she/he wouldn’t want to hear.
After all, sometimes we all have to lie and sometimes we have to keep things hidden from our partners. But what if your partner finds out information that was supposed to remain secret? How do you know that it didn’t happen accidentally? What will you do if he/she gets mad at you for lying? And what if after telling her/him the truth, you still don’t like each other anymore?
Don’t worry. You can avoid these problems by practicing active listening. Active listening means that you listen actively to your partner without interrupting her/him. This technique helps you to understand the situation and to decide what to do next.
Also, you need to realize that it is good to discuss issues openly. Even if you think that your partner is too opinionated or stubborn, try to talk to him/her and explain your point of view. Maybe there is something that you missed during the conversation and maybe you have been wrong all along. Once you open up to each other, you will discover that there are far fewer secrets between you than you thought.
3. Find common ground
Sometimes it seems that it is easier to argue with each other rather than to find common ground. Of course, it’s hard to agree on every topic, especially when you don’t share very similar views. But if you want to strengthen your relationship, you have to take some risks and try to find common ground. It’s possible, and it can be fun. Trust me!
But how can you do that? Here are some tips:
Ask questions related to your common interest. For example, if you both love books, ask your partner which book he/she enjoyed reading lately. Or if you are interested in hiking, ask where he/she wants to go next weekend.
You don’t have to travel far to have a nice chat. Just go for a walk or go to visit a park nearby. Talk about anything that comes into your mind, whether it’s a movie or a TV series, a game or an activity. If you both enjoy playing chess, it would be great to play a few rounds together. If you both like hiking, you can go out together and explore nature together.
Surprise your partner with something special. Plan a romantic dinner, pick flowers for her/him, and surprise your partner with a funny gift. Make a plan to celebrate his/her birthday, or spend time together watching favorite movies. These little unexpected gestures will create positive feelings in your partner and will make you look more attractive to him/her.
Now you know how to make your relationship better! Try to implement these ideas in your daily life and watch your relationship grow stronger with each passing day!